My Beloved Loveless
by Deshera
Summary: With Ritsuka now 17 and graduating soon their relationship deepens and Soibi finds himself worried about many things.
1. My Beloved Loveless

**Disclaimer:** _**I do **_not _**own loveless.**_

**Warnings:** sex humor and mild language

**Notes:** I know I should get on my stories that I started but this keep interrupting my thoughts when I was writing them so I just decided to get it out of my mind so I can move on… Everyone always writs about Ritsuka freaking out all angsty before there big night but no one ever thinks about poor Soubi. Frankly I've always been more able to see Soubi having a mental freak out better than I can an older Ritsuka.

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Soubi sighed as he thumped his head agents the cool tiles of the shower wall letting the water cascade down his back. For the love of god Soubi prayed that Ritsuka was seme. Sure male pride would normally make one whish the opposite but… _awww damn_. If at any point Ritsuka cried out in pain he'd probably go impotent for the rest of his life. _Dear God!_ Soubi visibly shuddered for more than one reason at the thought of Ritsuka crying out in pain as he tried to enter him. The first time was always painful no matter how good your partner was.

Lately spending time around Ritsuka had become hell. Now that Ritsuka was seventeen he was defiantly old enough to do it. Just the other day when he went to pick Ritsuka up at his school the first seven kids walking out of his class didn't have there ears and two of the ones that still had ears their ears remained suspiciously still and upright. It wasn't bad enough that Ritsuka went through puberty flawlessly and practically over night he went from adorable brooding kitten to a tall dark sex god. His hair had grown out and now draped like black silk down to his shoulders. He was still shorter than Soubi by an inch but his ears made him look taller. His once small soft voice had lately turned to liquid velvet dark and beautiful beyond description. He was often told how much he looked like his older brother Seimei now but that did him no justice. Sure Seimei was handsome for his age but Ritsuka was mesmerizing. His once small delicate body had easily grown into a well toned and yet sleek physique. Ritsuka was no longer a small little kitten but a dark and sleek panther.

Honestly the universe wasn't fare. Out of nowhere Ritsuka stopped blushing and cutely denying his feelings and a new cool and aloof attitude had replaced his previous emotional side. Running away mad and blushing Ritsuka was just to darn adorable but now… but now he didn't blush or run away. In fact no matter what Soubi did to Ritsuka, he never did one God damned thing! How the hell was he suppose to respond to that!? No matter how much kissing nibbling or touching Soubi did, Ritsuka never responded. At first it was fun but recently he had no frickin idea what the hell to do.

Thumping his fists against the wall Soubi leaned back and begun to wash his hair. The fact that Ritsuka never pushed him away when he made his advances was nice… to a point. Just the other day while Ritsuka was sitting on his bed immersed in his reading assignment Soubi had snuck up behind him and softly begun to nibble on his soft feline ears. Soubi groaned softly as the memory of the day before slowly became more vivid.

Ritsuka sat perfectly still as Soubi slowly trailed a line of kisses to his real ears and softly nibbled and suckled on Ritsuka's delicate earlobes. Slightly annoyed at the fact that Ritsuka continued to ignore him and read his book Soubi slowly wrapped both his arms around Ritsuka and left an intense row of kisses down to the nape of his neck. A slight flicker of frustration passed through his head as Ritsuka flipped a page and continued to ignore Soubi's advances.

Letting out a frustrated growl Soubi scooted even closer so that he now he held Ritsuka in a tight embrace as he renewed his assault on the neko's neck leaving a rather large and obvious love mark. Slowly inching his hands under the sacrifice's shirt Soubi slowly ran his long fingers up from the boy's stomach and up across his exquisite chest.

When Ritsuka once more simply turned the page in response Soubi slowly slid his hands out from under his shirt and proceeded to unbutton it exposing the entirety to the cool night air. Tracing his tongue up and down Ritsuka's neck Soubi searched for the perfect spot to leave another love mark as his hand begun to roam over Ritsuka's chest in renewed vigor now that he was no longer inhibited by the boy's shirt.

Soubi smirked internally when a small nearly undetectable shiver rippled through the boy's body and he put his book down. Unfortunately that internal smirk turned into an outward frown when Ritsuka stood up, walked over to the window and closed it while muttering to himself that it was to cold. Giving a slight yawn Ritsuka quickly slipped into his bathroom for a quick shower before bed and a quick bid good night as if he had never even noticed Soubi's advances.

Sighing Soubi leaned back against the cold glass door. There was the possibility that Ritsuka didn't actually want to it at all and was just indulging his selfish desires. Honestly it was more than possible when Soubi really thought about it. Ritsuka was and will always be to kind. No matter what he requested or how selfish he acted Ritsuka would always give in to his pleas regardless of the consequences to himself.

Abruptly the door to the shower that Soubi was leaning against opened causing him to fall onto the cold tile floor. Soubi laid their stunned momentarily as a rather annoyed looking Ritsuka towered above him. With a slight grunt of annoyance Ritsuka reached into the shower and turned the water off. Soubi could only blink in shock as washcloth cam fluttering down to cover him perfectly, of all the indignities. "What the hell's wrong with you? The waters ice cold by now, a forty seven minute shower just what's going on in your head?"

Sitting up Soubi muttered an apology as an annoyed Ritsuka grabbed a towel and begun to softly towel dry the fighters hair. "You don't have to push yourself."

"What?" Ritsuka cocked an eyebrow, as he looked at Soubi somewhat confused.

"If you don't want to do it just say something."

"Well it would be more convenient if you'd dry your own hair but I don't really mind."

Soubi let out a soft snort. What a typically Ritsuka-like answer, frustratingly cute and yet he was aware enough to know exactly what was really meant. "Your ears." Soubi clarified, pausing slightly he continued. "I know I've been pushing the subject lately but if you don't really want to I'll back off. Just so long as you don't throw me away, so long as I can have something no matter how small I'll be happy with as much of yourself as your willing to give me."

Ritsuka let out a soft sigh and stood up. "It's not that I don't want to do those sort of things its just that… you act like a overly horny dog ninety percent of the time. God, at least one of us has to act like an adult. Not to mention you can pick really weird times to get touchy." Soubi stared at Ritsuka in utter shock as he continued. "I mean seriously who the hell gets in the mood when reading about civil turmoil, torture tactics, and beheadings during the Spanish inquisition?" Giving an exasperated sigh Ritsuka leaned agents the near by wall. "And what about last week at that coffee house?"

"Huh?" Ok, it wasn't the most intelligent remark but judging by the glare Ritsuka had shot him he had to at least say something.

"It was the lunch rush hour for Christ sake! The place was packed, did you seriously expect me to jump you and take you right there?" Soubi continued to stare as Ritsuka flattened his feline ears in annoyance and thumped his head backwards against the wall he was leaning agents. It had been a long time since he had seen Ritsuka so expressive. "Geeze! Every time you see a girl even looking in my direction no matter where we are you get to touchy and clingy." When Ritsuka narrowed his eyes and shot him an intense glare Soubi couldn't help but scoot back slightly. "Lets make this perfectly clear. I am not going to just drop my pants and do you right there just because your jealous of some inconsequential girl I don't even know!"

Leaning forward Soubi rested his forehead in his palm in a small attempt to hide his features from Ritsuka. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to come across that way. I just get really insecure. It's just that… Sometimes when you're with my you look like you're in pain. For a long time I've been making demands on you. I don't want you to hate me."

Stepping forward Ritsuka bent down and took Soubi's chin in his hand and pulled gently so that he was forced to look him in the eyes. "You may not know this but when your not they're my face looks much worse." Leaning forward Ritsuka lightly bumped his head against Soubi's. "Sex is not love and love is not sex. They are two entirely separate entities." Standing back up Ritsuka gave Soubi a soft smile and turned towards the door. "Now hurry up and dry yourself off dinners ready."

"Dinner?"

Ritsuka crooked an eyebrow at Soubi from over his shoulder. "Yes, dinner. I've been taking lessons. I told you earlier that I had a surprise for you. You're the one who instantly jumped to ridiculous conclusions." Ritsuka immediately narrowed his eyes and flattened his ears when Soubi opened hi mouth to speak. "And don't you dare say that you would have taught me that would have ruined the whole point of making it a surprise." Turning and walking out the door Ritsuka grumbled to himself. "Besides I don't thing it would have been good for your health to arm me with a frying pan and then get all clingy at the very least you would've wound up neutered."

Standing up Soubi sighed to himself Ritsuka was un-doubidly Ritsuka he really should've expected this. Curious Soubi called out. "SO what did you make?"

"Pan roasted Salmon with soy-ginger glaze." Ritsuka called out from the kitchen.

Wrapping a large towel around his waist and proceeded to his room to get dresses for the auspicious occasion. "And desert?"

"Me." Soubi swore eloquently to himself when he accidentally whacked himself with the door to his own bedroom.

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_Looks up. Hope it didn't disappoint anyone too much. It got a little mushy at the end there. I'm not really sure what I intended by writing this. I dunno maybe later I'll turn it into an M rated fick. Either than or a mid-dinner internal panic attack from Soubi._

_P.S. I disappeared yet again but I've got a good reason. While walking across the street A truck hit me. I'm fine but I was bruised up a bit and sprained my wrists , my left shoulder, left elbow and bruised my bones in several places, and might I say that really put a damper on my spirits let alone my ability to write._


	2. Misaki's Love

**Disclaimer:** _**I do **_not _**own loveless.**_

**Warnings:** sex humor and mild language

**Notes:** I'm not sure on how much I'm back. I'll be updating a few of my stories at random so long as nothing major happens to tearr me away from my computer. For now though I think I may have decided to turn this into a full story...

Soubi sighed mentally as he walked Ritsuka home. At this point he wasn't sure if what he was feeling was relief or disappointment. Ever since Ritsuka had entered high school he had stopped showing up with injuries and had been spending more time at his home.

A small soft snort of laughter draw his attention. "You don't have to mope this much."

"I don't pout."

Ritsuka stayed silent for a moment. "I'm sorry our night was cut short. Mother really needed some things from the store and I had to get them for her. She's still afraid of going outside at night."

Soubi glanced down at the two bags of groceries that Ritsuka was carrying and refused to let him help with. He had been leaving Soubi recently when his mother called him for what ever reason it was. Even though he hadn't shown signs of receiving any beating from her since he started high school Soubi still couldn't forgive her for the way Ritsuka was treated when he was so easily even if Ritsuka did himself.

Switching both bags to one hand momentarily Ritsuka fished his key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. Turning around he smiled at Soubi. "Thanks for the walk."

"It's the least I could do" Soubi did his best to sound nonchalant as he leaned forward to atleast get a good by kiss when a flurry of thudding footsteps approached then and a small woman tackled Ritsuka from the side holding him in a tight quivering hug.

It had been a long time sing Soubi had seen the woman and he watched as Ritsuka used his free hand to pat her on top of her head. "I'm home, I've brought the things you needed."

Not looking up she squeezed him tighter. "Thank God, I was so scared. I thought something happened to you and you'd never return again."

Placing his hand on her chin Ritsuka urged her to look up until violet eyes meet violet. "I'm here you don't need to worry I'm not going anywhere."

Seemingly satisfied the woman slowly let go of her son and walked inside her home again with Ritsuka following. Following the two in the doorway somewhat curious Soubi watched as Ritsuka helped his mother unpack the items she had wanted.

Satisfied that Ritsuka's situation was indeed looking better Soubi scanned the dark house. It gave off an oddly dingy clean feeling. At first glance one would look and see a perfectly clean well managed house but on closer inspection one would notice the fine layer of dust on may of the items and half the furniture from lack of use. The house indeed looked clean but that was mainly because no one ever used it the way it should with people living in it. The only item that seemed to be perfectly taken care of in the living room was Seimei's alter.

Turning around he nearly jumped when he found himself being watched by the woman. "Mother?" Ritsuka questioned from out of sight.

Turning her head she called to her son. "Did you bring a friend?" When Ritsuka replied with a yes her face immediately broke out into a smile as she walked up to Soubi. Walking up to him she bowed politely. "It's a pleasure to have you here would you like a drink?"

Unsure of what to do Soubi simply said that a water would be good. Smiling she ushered him to sit down on the barley used couch. Sitting down he couldn't help but frown, even now soft candles and fresh flowers adorned the alter. A new photo was in place of the last one he had seen there but nothing else in the room had changed in the slightest.

Turning when someone sat down next to him he accepted the glass of water. As far as he could tell she was doing far better for herself than last time he had seen her. "It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Seimei's mother. This is the first time he's brought a friend home with him. I've always wanted to meet one of his friends."

"Seimei? No I'm"

"Mother have you taken your medication yet.?" Ritsuka interrupted Soubi be fore he could finish what he was saying. "You need it before you go to bed." Handing her a glass of water and some pills Ritsuka gave Soubi an odd look he couldn't quite read."

"Thanks Seimei." Handing the empty glass back she smiled once again to Soubi as she wrapped her hands around one of Ritsuka's like a young child waiting to be escorted to bed.

"Thank again for seeing me home tonight, I'll call you later." as Ritsuka left the room to escort his mother to bed Soubi finally understood what it was about the living room that had been bothering him so much. Seimei's picture was no longer in the alter. Instead there was a picture of Ritsuka when he was younger.

As much as he wanted to rush up the stairs and confront Ritsuka immediately about it he knew better and Ritsuka's message was clear. Walking out of the house he locked the door behind him and started out on his walk home. Puling out his phone he quickly typed a message and sent it.

**[Ritsuka, why is your photo on the alter?]**

Soubi never got a reply that night nor was their one their the next morning when he checked his phone.


End file.
